Step parents face challenges that many other parents do not face whatsoever. One of these problems is respect. This week’s positive parenting discusses the pangs of step parenting and what you can do to make it better.
Blended families are pretty much the norm nowadays. From the Brady’s to (dare I say it) the Kardashians, blended families are everywhere. But what can you do if you married someone who has a child or children from a previous relationship? Whether you are ready or not, in that situation you will be stepping into the shoes of a parent and if you do not already have children of your own, you will undoubtedly have an interesting road ahead of you.
It could be said that becoming a step parent to a baby or toddler is very different from becoming a step parent to a tween, teen or a child whose age in between four and 10 years old. As with any other parenting challenge, the key is to stay positive. Easier said than done in certain situations, I know.
One of the things that you must do is to keep the lines of communication open with your spouse especially when it comes to parenting. Find out their parenting style and creatively come up with ways to balance that style. Develop tough skin, because there may be times when you just might hear the words, “you’re not my real mother/father!” Be prepared to respond to this sternly yet with compassion letting your stepson or stepdaughter that you are their real parent regardless of your last name or blood type, you are there in their lives because you care and love them.
Realize that there can be light at the end of the tunnel and consider taking multiple approaches to parenting. Remember that you are your child’s (biological or step child) parent first, so avoid trying to overcompensate your role in their lives by being a friend.
Consider sitting down with your step child (or step children) and hear them out. Do they like you and this new situation? Are they playing the blame game and what are their expectations, if any? This is not to say that you are going to be a doormat to them, but it will help you understand where they are coming from. Additionally, hearing them out will give you an upper hand on how to perfect your parenting strategies. Remember that mutual respect is essential, so if you are not giving respect to your step children, you can’t really expect to get it.
Parenting is a wonderful journey and each day you will learn something new. If you are a step parent, consider making friendships with other parents who have gone through what you are going through, and realize that you are not a second class parent - you are a parent who plays a crucial role in the lives of your children.
1 comments:
step parent adoption one of the most common form of adoption. It permits the stepparent to legally adopt the child of his or her spouse. This further eliminates the non-custodial parent from all the rights and responsibilities of the child which also includes child support. The sole obligation lies within the hands of the newly legalized parent and his/her spouse.
Like any other form of adoption, step parent adoption is also governed by the state law. However, it may vary from state to state in terms of ease. Some of them comforts out the entire process if the documents favor the name of the desiring couple. Most common example is excluding the need of the couple to be represented by a lawyer. Some states may also omit the necessity of a home study which is quite indispensable in other types of adoptions. Though even then you may have to pass through a criminal background check.
The time duration requisite for a successful step parent adoption also depends on the state. You may have to be married to your spouse for one year before you can even apply for the adoption. Conversely it might not be necessary in other states. No advert effects are generally applied to the legal rights of the child who is concerned in a normal run. The child may inherit from the birth parent or even the family members.
What is an indispensable thing is the consent of the spouse as well as the other parent. A legal step parent adoption can never take place if one of the both disagrees to it. It can be a difficult task however. Also, the ways of gaining the consent may be different in different states. The non-custodial parent may just provide a written statement, he/she may have to appear in the court for the same, and a state may even ask the parent for receiving counseling about the subject.
Different laws are being applied by different states. Therefore if you want to understand the requirements for step parent adoption, you must first go through the laws of your particular state and consult a lawyer if needed. This will evade you from being a victim of something you did not know about in the beginning. Some states may also provide you with free legal help if you are not financially strong to afford a lawyer of your own.
Post a Comment